So, why no Santa?
I see it as dishonest.
Truthfulness with our children is our policy. We (Kristi and I) try to be truthful in all circumstances. We make it a point not to make up a lie to wiggle out of a situation with our kids. If there is something we cannot discuss with them, we simply tell them that it is Mommy and Daddy's business and not for them to know about. Persuading our children to believe something that is not true is simply wrong in my opinion.
I'm selfish.
Why would we want to spend our hard earned money on presents for our kids only for them to think that Santa brought the stuff?
I don't want to skew my kids understanding of the world.
When I was four years old, I had traveled quite a lot and, I think, had a decent understanding of the world in which we live. I doubted that it was possible for this Santa story to be true. As my mom tucked me into bed on Christmas Eve in 1975 I asked my mom, "Is Santa real?" Her answer, "No." I have always appreciated the simple, honest answer she gave me; an answer that matched my understanding of the world in which I was living. Children who believe in Santa have a skewed picture of reality and do not have a solid foundation on which to build future knowledge about our world.
I think it is pointless.
I don't see how the Santa story adds anything to the meaning of Christmas. On the contrary, I think it takes away from the celebration of the birth of Jesus. When Kylee and Makenna were four years old we offered to pretend with them that Santa would put presents under the tree that year. They weren't interested. They didn't know why we would want to pretend that. I don't know why parents want to pretend that.
I want my kids to believe.
I see parallels between the story of Santa and the story of Jesus. Both are physically unseen. Both are gift givers. Santa though is make-believe. Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God. We want there to be no confusion between the mythic story of Santa and Jesus Christ, the Truth. Are children who have been told that both Santa and Jesus are real, more likely to doubt Christ when they find out that the story of Santa isn't true? I think maybe, which is reason enough for me to be honest from the start.
I asked Kylee and Makenna tonight if they wish that we would have told them that Santa was real from the start. They both replied with a resounding NO. They appreciate our commitment to truthfulness and I think they are especially glad to have missed the confusion and suspicion that go along with believing in Santa.
8 comments:
Thanks for this most interesting post! It's good to read other parents' views.
Thanks for dropping by.
I agree with you Steve. It is how Jody and I handled it with our kids when they were young. I enjoy reading the blog.
I guess my kids are ruined now. I sure hope they turn out okay because they believed in Santa. We never told them, they just picked up on it at school and around other kids. Boy, I sure hope we haven't ruined everything.
Well Shelley, you know me, Mr. Conservative. :) I'm sure that what I have written is not the "right" way to handle Santa. It's just my thoughts on the issue. And I think not telling them one way or the other is a lot different than being dishonest about it, which I think is especially harmful when parents try to prolong belief in Santa with dishonesty after a child asks seriously for the truth.
I am in complete agreement with you Steve. My wife and I have always told our kids that Santa isn't real. This year we've had to figure out how to handle it when our kids want to tell other kids that Santa isn't real. Our 4-year-old son is notorious for that. We've tried to restrain them because it's not our place (or our kids' place) to decide what other kids believe. But, I am so glad we told them right from the beginning that Santa isn't real and the real reason we give presents is to celebrate the birth of Jesus.
Steve, I hope you know I was not upset with your post or anything. My comment was written with a tone of sarcasm and humor. To be clear, we have NEVER told our kids there is a Santa, and we have never perpetuated the lie by lying to them about it. We have always answered their questions honestly whenever they came to those questions on their own through their own maturity and development. Then we clearly told them the truth. Funny thing, Nicole and Drew asked us about the truth when they were still pretty young, but Brock (who's gonna be 8) hasn't thought through the whole Santa thing critically enough to even question it! I am expecting it to dawn on him that this Santa thing doesn't make sense. As for the birth of Jesus, that is first and foremost our focus on Christmas. I don't put Santa decorations out or anything like that. As I stated before, they picked up on Santa from kids at school, and as I watched my kids develop spiritually and intellectually, it has been neat to see them question the Santa logic on their own. As a Social Studies teacher, I am huge on teaching kids to think critically, to find the truth, and to not believe everything they hear. I can tell my kids what to believe, and I do as long as they are in my care, but when they are older and this world throws different ideas and values at them, I want my kids to be able to take what they hear or are told, put it up against God's word, and come to a righteous conclusion on their own, without being swayed by others. So to summarize, I have decided to let this Santa thing be one of those areas where we as parents are always honest, but we allow our kids to start to question the myth on their own. Then we use that opportunity as a teachable moment. Off the subject, I think there are four areas of parenting where people get pretty hot under the collar - putting babies on a routine/schedule, spanking, Halloween, and Santa.
To me Santa is just another one of those things that makes it fun to be a kid. Kid's have great imaginations! Am I going to tell my daugther that she can't pretend to feed me cookies because there really are none on the plate? Or that the toy she puts on her head is not really a hat? I love taking her to Disneyland and seeing the wonderment in her eyes when she sees Mickey Mouse and all her favorite characters.
Of course I will tell her the truth when she asks but for now I wouldn't trade immagining and pretending with her for anything.
Of course I know I am not going to change your mind but just wanted to put a different perspective out there.
Modern,
Thanks for dropping by. I appreciate your viewpoint. From what your said in your comment, I don't think we are actually that far apart in our viewpoints, as I don't see anything wrong with the pretend aspect of Santa. I just think kids should know it IS pretend.
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